What To Do When Doubt Comes Knocking
“He who has a why can endure any how.” — Frederick Nietzsche
A client recently asked me why I became a therapist and it reminded me of how I would previous answer this question. I’d initially wonder what my answer would mean to her, notice her intrigue and say a combination of my parents divorce, my natural ability to listen to others and my belief in emotional well-being. Not that there is anything wrong with this answer, it just didn’t quite hit home so many times before. It was all true and it was appropriate to say, however, it didn’t give my story justice or really convey the deep connection I have to doing this work. It was a blanket statement with truth and it was watered down.
Over the years, I’ve invested a lot of time, energy and money into communicating my passion in a way that I thought it mattered most. I hired brand designers, business coaches, took online courses, learned basic marketing techniques and spent endless hours writing about my WHY. It wasn’t until most recently, in an immersive experience with other colleagues and business owners that I truly understood my purpose.
I’ve been a chameleon for most of my life, blending in and adapting to my environment. I can get along with just about anyone, or I can appear too. I had always looked at this as a strength overshadowing a flaw and found myself believing that it meant I didn’t stand out or I wasn’t that unique.
And then it happened. I finally understood how this seemingly ‘ok’ trait was actually my purpose shining through all along. I discovered that the thread of ‘holding space’ has been intertwined in all aspects of my life and my career. I noticed that this thread was the flow of energy that drew people near me and allows me to move and adapt in ways that I sense is needed in that very moment. This ah-ha has transformed my work and how I speak about the work I do. It’s given me a new language and it’s allowed me to feel grounded in a room and in my personal life.
For me, clarity of my purpose is my safe guard from distraction, doubt and disorganization. It reminds me to trust and use it as a check point for future decisions.
When you know your purpose, taking action is the easy part… Or I should say, it gets easier. As helping professionals we can be notorious for taking a ‘generalist’ approach to answering “why” we do what we do because doesn’t everyone deserve to heal, feel heard and know they aren’t alone?
The biggest problem with this mentality is we can burn out or feel uninspired by the work. We can allow the strong pull of doubt to creep in and wonder if we’re really that good, which then just leads to over-working, missing our clients or taking clients that aren’t a good fit simply because they are a paying customer.
Even worse, we end up doubting our vision because the phone isn’t ringing.
The stakes are too high in our arena to not hone in and discover the ease that knowing your purpose naturally delivers.
Getting here is part of the work, it’s a process of asking the right questions to unlock what’s already there. It takes voicing it, trying it on, having someone hear it and continue to help you hone in. Your work is more about you that you think and in order to feel the ease and success that you are capable of, it takes knowing who you, doing your work repairing your story and noticing where your inspiration, talent and the world’s need meets.
Your purpose is waiting for you.